"In the multitude of my anxieties within me, your comforts delight my soul." As it is written in Psalm 94:19, it is also written in my heart.. Tattooed deep within the chambers. This verse has been a life cry this past summer. My heart has been on an emotional whirlwind from going to Africa (where I left parts of my heart behind) to preparing to move to college, which is also preparing to move out of the house I have lived in for almost 16 years and into the new farm house. I want to share a little about this past summer and the different things I have seen and have changed my life and that I will never forget.
Africa:
I left the Monday after the Fourth of July weekend where my family went to the Braves v. Phillies baseball game in Atlanta on the Fourth. The game was filled with patriotism and fireworks as we celebrated our great country's independence. Emotions of gratitude and love for a nation were obvious as we all wore red, white, and blue and shouted USA USA and sang the Star Spangled Banner and My Country Tis of Thee. All of this to say we are extremely blessed to live in a nation where we have everything at the touch of a button and freedom beyond belief.
Africa, however, is a little different. From the second I boarded the 13.5 hour plane ride, I knew immediately that I had no clue what was in store for the next 2 weeks. We landed and drove to our first guest house in a bus with no air conditioning for 4 hours. The ride was actually not half bad because we were all so excited to be in the land we all knew was prepared ahead of time for us to travel to. My team was incredible. We were from all different states and of all different ages but felt like a family by the bond of Christ that we all shared. From the first moment we met, we knew God wanted us all to be together in this place and at this time. It was kind of magical. Our first organization we worked with is called Sole Hope. This ministry is absolutely amazing and works to create shoes for people who can't afford them as well as treat and educate people on a specific problem.. I'm sure about 85% of the people reading this right now have no idea about the problem they are working so hard to fix; jiggers. A jigger is a parasite that digs deep into the feet of these people who walk around in the dirt barefooted all day because they have no money for shoes. The jigger then lays eggs and dies, still in the body, as the eggs are in a larva that then will burst and spread. Some had few, others had hundreds, and one had thousands (most people who have jiggers have them in the feet, some also get them in their hands, and this man had them all over his entire body). We helped and blessed as the hands and feet of Jesus, but they will never ever know how much more they blessed all of us.
Joy, pure joy. That is the emotion I remember as I looked into my sweet little Jaine's eyes seconds after she had her jiggers removed from her feet. I was holding her hands so tightly as I watched this sweet, beautiful girl have these flesh eating parasites dug out of her foot with razor blades and safety pins. She looked at me with the absolute biggest smile I have ever seen right when she was finally finished (about 2 hours). We danced, played with bubbles, and laughed as she stole my heart. I told her to keep it after she looked at me when I said "I have to go now, I love you," and she replied "I love you." I do not know if she even knows what 'I love you' means since she spoke primarily Lugandan, but I can hope that she does know what it means and I can hope that she is going to go home to someone else who loves her and cares for her too. But that's all that I can do for my sweet Jaine girl who I couldn't bring back with me. I asked.
One day working with Sole Hope we had the opportunity to go into the village school and have a jigger clinic there. As Drew, the husband of Asher, the woman who started this amazing organization, asked who wanted to wash feet, I raised my hand not knowing what was in store. I put on my latex gloves and sat at the bench with a water bucket, bar of soap, and scrubber brush in front of me. The faces of the kids and adults who's feet I washed will never escape my memory, and the feeling of pure joy inside of me will never be forgotten as one of the greatest feelings in life. These people. They are incredible. Having the opportunity to scrub and clean people's feet, who I think for most ,this was their first time ever having them washed was the biggest blessing. Needless to say, pedicures will never be the same, as I cried through the first one I got when I got home. Getting to love and be a part of God's big picture and story for Africa was all I could ever want. Dancing with an old man who was mentally ill in the middle of Africa is a memory that I will be reminded of every time I dance (not actual dance because I'm not the most coordinated person, but swing dance which I LOVE). These people have forever changed how I view life.
The next stop was the Nile River where several of us were baptized. I have been baptized before, but I was 8, and I knew but at the same time I didn't know. I knew that "Jesus loves me" because "the bible tells me so" but I didn't know that the same God who loves me also cares so much about me that he wants an intimate relationship with me and he wants me to be a part of his unfolding story. This God is incredible, and I wanted to be baptized again because I felt like I wanted to be washed clean of my sins and weary thinking, and live life like I knew He wants me to live. To start fresh, straight out of the water in this place that so many are afraid of, the big, scary, and dirty Nile River that's infested with fish and snakes and other unknown creatures. I believe the reason I was not afraid of this nasty river is because people were praying for me. They were praying for safety and for God to be my protector, and in the multitude of my anxieties, my soul was comforted and I was not afraid.
The next place we went was a baby cottage. We got to hold and love on babies that don't get love much, if ever. The little girl that I fell so fastly in love with was named Hannah. Hannah was abandoned in the hospital when she was 6 months old. She had TB and was HIV positive. She was treated for TB and is now a year and a half old. This sweet baby would probably never have someone who would love her. I pray she will and that one day she will have a mommy who loves her and that she will live long enough to know her heavenly father, but if not, I know the Lord will take her to live with Him forever, and there, we will be reunited and I will love her so much. She also holds a chunk of my heart.
The last place we went to we are not allowed to share much about on social media. All I will say about this is that these kids who are in prison worship harder and more real than any worship I have EVER been apart of. Here they are with absolutely nothing except the tattered rags on their bodies, yet they fall on their face praising Jesus. They rely so completely on Him because they simply have nothing else. They trust in Him with everything they have, and in the middle of prison for goodness sake. Flat on their face. Praising the God who created us to do just that. To praise Him. These kids, too, were fearfully and wonderfully made. Just like me and just like you. They want so much more of God to be lifted "higher higher higher higher higher higher higher higher higher Jesus higher." This one along with about 3 others are songs they sang that will forever be stuck in my head, and I hope they never escape. What gets me is that we sit in our big houses, with our tons of pairs of shoes and more clothes than we can wear, with more food in our pantry and fridge than we can eat, yet we are still unhappy. We lack the fully reliance on God that these kids have. They get to know God like this and we don't because we think we've got our lives under control. We plan what we want to do next and how our lived will pan out, and these people don't even know where their next meal is. We take life for granted and they are just glad to be alive for one more day.
In Africa, I learned things we take for granted, such as using our running water to brush our teeth or get water to drink, showering in hot showers, getting to wear shorts in public, not having to sleep under a mosquito net or take pills to prevent from getting the dreaded disease of Malaria, sleeping in a bed where I can sprawl out, having air conditioning and generators for when the power goes out making our one little fan in a room with 6 girls (2 triple bunk beds, I was on top) also go out, and having wifi to call, text, and contact whoever we need, wherever we need. These things are not necessities. I lived without them for 2 weeks and know that it is possible. We are so fortunate and most do not even know how fortunate we are to have all that we have. It's simply not fair that we live here while they live there. Our fearless leader, Callie, told us this when we all broke down because of how mad we were at the life we were born in:
We were put in the family, country, and circumstances that we were so that we can help those who are not. We are now aware of the poverty and need in other places and now can spread the word and help more. If we were not here who would be to help these people? Jesus has given us opportunity.
It is not because of us that we are here or because of our own self pride to do "good things" and be "good people", but instead it is because the Lord of all of the earth has called all of us to go and we were the ones who he called at this time to this place. We will never be the same and for this I am grateful. I don't want to be comfortable in my life because how can I be after seek what I did? I hope every Sunday in church I break down because of the lack of realness in worship. I hope I have to close my eyes and see my sweet kids on their face crying out to Jesus because if not, I would go crazy and start screaming because nobody gets it. We are so blessed in America, and because of that, we need to submit our lives to Christ and follow Him where He leads us. If that's down the road or across the oceans, He has called us all to GO and to LOVE. Listen and obey.
As I prepare to go to college in one week and move into a new house soon, I feel like I am prepared for the journey ahead and that the Lord is continuing to call me to different places. I'm excited to see where the next place is, and even more about what the future holds for my life, for Africa, and for the world. The Lord is doing great things, I pray that he will use you in His big unfolding story so you will know a little more about life and love, and most of all, pure joy.
The whole gang at the Braves game!
these are the shoes that Sole Hope makes, all by hand. (message me if you're interested in hosting a shoe cutting party or learning more about this!)
Zoom in a little closer to see the jiggers buried in this man's feet.
This is my sweet and happy "joyful Jaine".
This is my precious little girl, Hannah, from the baby cottage.
Did I mention we got to go to the equator?!
The man who so desperately wanted to dance; I took his hand, he took my heart.
Washing feet at the school in the village of Jinja.
